officialunitedstates

officialunitedstates:

imagine being invited to a wedding by someone you really hate and going and being cool for the ceremony but when you get to the reception you get everyone’s attention and make them think you’re going to make a toast but instead you walk over to the cookie table and grab a peanut butter cookie in your hand and start smearing jelly on it and then pull two slices of bread out of your back pocket and